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- The Deal : A post should start with 'If murdered,' and is basically a message from you to the world in the rare event that you are in fact murdered or were to die suddenly for some reason. Don't stress about it! You're not going to die for a long long while, just post (just incase).
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If Murdered Hall of Fame

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If murdered, tell my mother not to kill herself from the grief. Not because she "owes it to herself to be a survivor," or anything gay like that... But because I could use a few years or R&R in hell without her before she's all up on my shit again.

#460
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Jan 23, 2010 10:07 AM - Requests - by samskofield

If murdered, please have the mortician make my facial expression into an over the top Dick Cheney scowl because I am be pissed to be dead.

#7
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Jan 2, 2010 09:52 AM - Requests - by philjohnson

If murdered, bury my body in earth until it has decomposed, then dig up the bones, bleach them, assemble them into a mannequin, give it a top hat, a cane, a monocle, and a cigar. Pose it jovially in front of a children's museum.

#89
2 Comments

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Jan 10, 2010 08:28 PM - Light Messages - by asciithegreat

If murdered, I hope I'm that one in a million guy who gets raped for 2 hours by a really hot chick right before she kills me.

#27
2 Comments

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Jan 5, 2010 06:58 AM - I Hope - by HopingJoe

If murdered, I would like my entire eulogy to consist of someone shouting "Oh my god! They Killed Kenny!" and someone replying "You Bastards!"

#157
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Jan 13, 2010 01:15 PM - Requests - by vaccum

If murdered, please lay me on my side in my casket. I was never comfortable falling asleep on my back, and lying like that forever scares me.

#912
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Mar 1, 2010 04:22 PM - Requests - by gcbball22

If murdered in the next two weeks, I just want everyone to know that the book of clown porn under my bed is a funny birthday present for my brother. I'm not into clown porn.

#32
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Jan 5, 2010 05:31 PM - Rando - by JakeDaSnake

If murdered, nobody say "He's in a better place." I didn't want to die. I liked earth.

#550
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Jan 28, 2010 02:06 PM - Heavy Messages - by J-Hole

If murdered please bury me next to a grave whose tombstone reads, "He lasted as long as he could." Then have my tombstone say, "that's what she said".

#1007
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Like (140) - Don't Like (7)

Mar 8, 2010 04:23 PM - Requests - by Raikiriblade

If murdered, put me in a handbasket. I want to go to Hell in a cliche.

#329
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Like (139) - Don't Like (9)

Jan 14, 2010 11:42 PM - Light Messages - by Hellbound

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